Names have power
Written by Alex Kidman Fri Jan 22 2010, 05:59am
OK, so Apple's doing something next week. I've emphasised something there, because for all anyone outside of Apple's elite inner leak circle knows, based on the invite, it could be releasing a new range of non-toxic body paints. Sure, it seems unlikely now, but ten years ago would you have picked Apple as one of the world's biggest music sellers? See?
[I didn't see iPod Socks coming either — MJCP]
Anyway, popular rumour-mongering suggests it'll be some kind of flat computer-style device for the delivery of content. Will that content be books? Magazines? iPhone Apps? Complimentary massages?
Only Apple knows, and while the rumour mills are churning out the possibilities as to what it'll do, only a few are thinking about what it'll be called. Apple's full of interesting and sometimes very clever people, and I'm sure more than a few meetings have been held to decide on what name the something should go to market with. So, in no particular order, here's a few of the suggestions I've seen, and my own opinion of them.
Next Wednesday/Thursday should hopefully reveal all, as it'll be reported all over the internet, naturally enough. In the interests of making sure I get my next paycheque, I probably should point out that you can follow all the exciting action via MacTheTwit's Twitter feed by clicking right here!
Apple Tablet. OK, so all the reporting from the regular press is still referring to it as the "Apple Tablet". The odds of it being called just the Apple Tablet seem remarkably low to me, for a couple of reasons. First, while the company is called "Apple", very few of its products go to market with the Apple prefix so predominant in the marketing strategy. It's never far behind (and there's a logo on everything), but if you check Apple's online store, you'll be offered an iPhone. Or a MacBook Pro. Or an iMac. The identifying "Apple" is more or less presumed, but it's not typed out as part of the product name per se.
Without that, however, all Apple's left with is "Tablet", which is problematic on a number of fronts. For one thing, it'd be impossible to trademark, and if Apple succeeds with its something strategy, you can reasonably expect the competitors to emerge rapidly. For another thing, Tablet computing's been around for quite some time and, as a consumer-led branding, it's rather damaged. Yes, niche vertical markets such as medicine have implemented Windows-based Tablet strategies with success, but consumers have never really bitten. It also pretty much effectively kills the idea of "iTablet", and I'd hope Apple's marketing people weren't quite that lazy anyway.
iSlate. Another widely popular choice, and another bit of possible bad marketing. First, there's the once-upon-a-time-owned-by-Microsoft online magazine with which Apple might not want to associate. Then there's the obvious problems with reviews. If a reviewer doesn't like the something, then it'd be pretty obvious to say that they've, well, slated it. And heaven forfend what might happen if manufacturing or supply issues mean that delivery of iSlate iS late. Further compounding that problem, Wikipedia informs me that a Slate may also be a type of turkey. Outside of Christmas, you don't want your product associated with turkeys.
Palette. Based off the invite's splashes of colour, promising Apple's latest "Creation", the Palette idea has some appeal, although again it'd be a tough one to keep as Apple's own trademark. Realistically too, it could be that Apple's planning to release the something as the "Creation", although that wouldn't put Richard Dawkins on side.
Slablet. The favoured choice of MacTheMag's hairy editor. I still can't decide if it should come with a slab of beer or a pre-engraved tombstone that hands out iTunes vouchers. Still, the uber-fanboys could slobber over a slablet, I guess.
Newton: The Next Generation. Not in this lifetime.
iPhone Xtra. OK, I just made this one up. It's still possible, however, that Apple might try to ride the wave of iPhone popularity with some kind of tie-in to the iPhone branding, especially if the rumoured App compatibility turns out to be real.
iPad. Aside from Palette (or, if you must, iPalette), the iPad idea seems to be the one with the most steam. At the time of writing, Macrumors is running heavily with it as the name of choice for the something, although the circumstantial evidence it's uncovered could indicate it's just a name that Apple's grabbing rights for purely so that competitors can't. I'm ambivalent about the idea of the iPad as a name. It's a touch bland for my tastes, and I can't help but think that with accent changes it could be dangerously possible to try to order a iPad and end up being sold an iPod.
What do you think Apple will call its device of mystery? What names are good or bad, and why?
Discuss it with me at MacTheForum!
